God may forgive your sins, but if you don’t, your nervous system won’t.
What You Need To Know
The biggest barrier to self-forgiveness may be your own resistance to it. It’s not simply that you feel bad because you know you’ve done wrong. Now, however, you wrap yourself in your own guilt, as if it were a comfy blanket. And while your guilt blanket may be destroying your life, you continue to hold on to it for reasons you may not fully understand.
Yet forgiving yourself, while difficult, is absolutely essential. Suicide, eating disorders, substance abuse, and depression all are linked to the inability to forgive oneself.
Perhaps you can justify forgiving others, yet you find no justification for forgiving yourself. Perhaps you believe you must pay some steep price, some form of lifelong penance for your wrongdoing. And so you hold on to your guilt and self-condemnation.
Not forgiving yourself for your mistakes can be considered a form of pride. Whenever you hold yourself to a different set of rules, a higher set of standards than you do for others, pride is the reason. When you can forgive others but not yourself, you are in effect saying that you are less capable of making a poor decision than others. You are somehow wiser, better prepared, and more careful than others, so you are without excuse and therefore should not forgive yourself. Such logic is absurd, but it is more common than you may expect.